These beats + too much caffine + pent up energy from sitting in an office = I NEEDZ TO GET MA DANCE ON. Alas Friday is one day too far away and I'm leaving Toronto this weekend to see my friends in Guelph. Dancing in Guelph is pretty slim pickings. I hate clubs but Toronto has tons of alternative clubs or weird venues that happen to have awesome DJs spinnin' what I likes.
FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDAY....get yer butt over here.
I'll be okay *commence chair dancing...it's all in the shoulders*
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Videogame Logic I wish applied to reality.
Videogames are frakin' awesome, once you brush aside all the crap in the realm of videogames there is so much gold to be found (300gp?) There are certain rules and logic that apply in videogames that would be killer if they applied to modern society.
Here are my 10 Rules and Logic of videogames that should apply to my life.
10) My clothes should give me attributes. (Hoodie + 2 charisma, Chuck Taylors + 3 to speed, parachute pants - 100 to life)
9) I want a damn inventory! Cuz shit son, my pockets ain't gunna cut it when I gets me an enchanted battle axe.
8)Mashing buttons fast makes you a rockstar. If life were like that I'd be god damned Chopin just by typing. Seriously I would only need 3 buttons to execute an epic panty-melting solo.
7) Experience points. Damn I wish I could rack-up magic power enabling skills by going through my own daily hum-drum. Example: Replenishing the coffee in my office +300XP! LEVEL UP! YOU'VE LEARNED *CAFFEINE JOLT*
6) Extra lives - If I had additional lives, I would do so many stupid(er) things. Like battling evil streetcars or jumping lava pits more often.
5) Saving - Remember that time my pants fell down and I threw up when I asked my girlfriend out for the 1st time? NO? THAT'S RIGHT cuz I hit the reset and started that shit from the last checkpoint.
4) Awesome items and presents for solving simple tasks - Yes, I would enjoy wielding the uber crossbow of the spacegods just for solving this morning's sudoku or pressing some buttons in the right order to receive some kind of enchanted boomerang.
3) A pet goomba - Damnit genetic scientists and mycologists of the world, get your shit together so I can buy me a goomba. I assume you just need some mushrooms and some nucleotides or some shit. Oh goomba, you are the pug of monsters.
2) Jump on things to win! - For reals B, if I could jump on anything standing in my way how sweet would that be? Need a promotion? Jump on your boss. About to get mugged? Jump on that poorly educated street thug. Late for the Subway? Jump on the all the commuters in row for COMBO POINTS!
1) Power-ups - Items, serums, elixers you know all that good stuff. If I could suddenly boost my speed and intelligence by drinking aspartame laden pop, that would be the biz-bomb. I suppose mind altering substances are the closest were going to get. Ummmm Happy 4:20?
*Player 1 has left the game*
Here are my 10 Rules and Logic of videogames that should apply to my life.
10) My clothes should give me attributes. (Hoodie + 2 charisma, Chuck Taylors + 3 to speed, parachute pants - 100 to life)
9) I want a damn inventory! Cuz shit son, my pockets ain't gunna cut it when I gets me an enchanted battle axe.
8)Mashing buttons fast makes you a rockstar. If life were like that I'd be god damned Chopin just by typing. Seriously I would only need 3 buttons to execute an epic panty-melting solo.
7) Experience points. Damn I wish I could rack-up magic power enabling skills by going through my own daily hum-drum. Example: Replenishing the coffee in my office +300XP! LEVEL UP! YOU'VE LEARNED *CAFFEINE JOLT*
6) Extra lives - If I had additional lives, I would do so many stupid(er) things. Like battling evil streetcars or jumping lava pits more often.
5) Saving - Remember that time my pants fell down and I threw up when I asked my girlfriend out for the 1st time? NO? THAT'S RIGHT cuz I hit the reset and started that shit from the last checkpoint.
4) Awesome items and presents for solving simple tasks - Yes, I would enjoy wielding the uber crossbow of the spacegods just for solving this morning's sudoku or pressing some buttons in the right order to receive some kind of enchanted boomerang.
3) A pet goomba - Damnit genetic scientists and mycologists of the world, get your shit together so I can buy me a goomba. I assume you just need some mushrooms and some nucleotides or some shit. Oh goomba, you are the pug of monsters.
2) Jump on things to win! - For reals B, if I could jump on anything standing in my way how sweet would that be? Need a promotion? Jump on your boss. About to get mugged? Jump on that poorly educated street thug. Late for the Subway? Jump on the all the commuters in row for COMBO POINTS!
1) Power-ups - Items, serums, elixers you know all that good stuff. If I could suddenly boost my speed and intelligence by drinking aspartame laden pop, that would be the biz-bomb. I suppose mind altering substances are the closest were going to get. Ummmm Happy 4:20?
*Player 1 has left the game*
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Short Story: Written Dec 27th, 2006
This is a short story I wrote one night. It's up on my facebook and I like it hence here it is.
I won't get the chance to defend my case
Can't be sure how long its been like this,I've been waiting for Karma to rear it's head, its monstrous ugly fucking head.
I've been holed up here for so long, only cuz one more slip and I'm a dead man. Too many arrogant moves, too many close calls. I've been asking for it.
A pull of bourbon burns down my throat and into my mind to distract me, with the glow of my monitor to keep me company. The stolen wi-fi provides me my only window out of this hole.
I can hear in my subconscious, the smug terminal words "You fucked up" leaking from the lips of my own personification of the overwatch. I know the rumor and stories. There will be one single knock at my door. No noise and no struggle, no faces to blame.
I won't get the chance to defend my case.
I take another pull on the bottle of bourbon...yeah I guess I did fuck up. But I got so damn tired of keeping quiet and letting overwatch take away everything.
My wits are keen, I've got a belly full of shit cheap liquor and a fully loaded friend holstered to my side.
I hear the train run past outside of my building. Raindrops assault my windowless walls. I feel tense.
KNOCK...
This is a short story I wrote one night. It's up on my facebook and I like it hence here it is.
I won't get the chance to defend my case
Can't be sure how long its been like this,I've been waiting for Karma to rear it's head, its monstrous ugly fucking head.
I've been holed up here for so long, only cuz one more slip and I'm a dead man. Too many arrogant moves, too many close calls. I've been asking for it.
A pull of bourbon burns down my throat and into my mind to distract me, with the glow of my monitor to keep me company. The stolen wi-fi provides me my only window out of this hole.
I can hear in my subconscious, the smug terminal words "You fucked up" leaking from the lips of my own personification of the overwatch. I know the rumor and stories. There will be one single knock at my door. No noise and no struggle, no faces to blame.
I won't get the chance to defend my case.
I take another pull on the bottle of bourbon...yeah I guess I did fuck up. But I got so damn tired of keeping quiet and letting overwatch take away everything.
My wits are keen, I've got a belly full of shit cheap liquor and a fully loaded friend holstered to my side.
I hear the train run past outside of my building. Raindrops assault my windowless walls. I feel tense.
KNOCK...
Black holes are going to eat your face.
I love black holes. They are these giant overwhelming freakish anomalies of our awesome and mysterious universe. Once something has passed a black hole's event horizon not even light can escape from the pull of the gravity. Everything at the centre of a black hole gets torn apart by the singularity. An area of zero volume with infinite gravity. It's actually been discovered that there is a super-massive black hole at the centre of our galaxy, causing of the solar systems to orbit it. This is not a bad thing, it's not going to harm us, it's actually just keeping everything locked in place. They have reason to believe massive black holes are at the centre of all major galaxies.
What would it be like to get caught in one????
That being said here are the top 5 things I would throw in a black hole.
5) All of the world's stupid raisins. Raisins are teh dumbz.
4) Skinny Jeans
3) White Castle...the entire fucking franchise.
2) Whatever evil device that allows Canadian PM Stephan Harper to keep his human form in our dimension.
1) Will Smith's Big Willie Style.
That is all.
Shameless Self Promotion 2.0
This will be the end of my journey into embedding-town. Population: Awesome.
Film Number 3 - The Ballad of Bobby the Bib
Summer 2007 48hr Film Challenge
We were 10 min late getting this in, so this one didn't qualify. This one is weird, but you can tell everything looks tighter.
Prop: Baby Bib
Central Conflict: Drunk at a funeral
Location: Parking lot.
Character Trait: Mean
Spoken Line: "That's the law"
Time Limit: 6 min
Film Number 4 - Last Round
This is where shit starts getting punch-tacular. We start exploding heads. This placed 3rd in the Spring 2008 24hr film challenge. This is the first time we used the team name "Creative Meat" we decided to stick with it after this.
Prop: Black box, elastic band, paperclip, bobby-pin, green string
Central Conflict: Drunk at a funeral
Genre: Action
Conflict: Divide and conquer
Spoken Line: "corrosive"
Time Limit: 5 min 30 sec
Film Number 5 - Bride to be... Delivered!
Summer 2008 48hr Film Challenge
1st Place baby!
We took the following awards:
Best Picture
Best Director
Best Editing
Best Cinematography
It's about a mail order bride. YEEEEESSSSSSSS! We've got some green screen and other kinds of magic.
Prop: Bingo Dabber
Central Conflict: Left at altar on wedding day.
Location: Bedroom
Character Trait: Ambitious
Spoken Line: "Musical"
Time Limit: 10 min
Film Number 5 - Faceopener: The Bloodening
We didn't place this time, but man we got to use stupid amounts of fake blood and at the end of the day that's really what its all about. Everything looks super tight now.
Genre: Horror
Theme: Suspicious
Prop: Jar of Horror
Line: "Welcome Back"
Time Limit: 5min 30sec
Film Number 6 - Baby Battle: Modern Dad vs. Perfect Mom
This brings us up to speed. At this point the Toronto Film Challenge group has disbanded and a new international group has entered the arena. The 48 Hour Film Project. So this was our film. They pick the genre at random for you...and they gave us. Family Film...oh fuck.
the following;
Genre: Family Film
Character: Stuart / Sabrina Oliver - Architect
Prop: Wrapped Gift
Line: "I expect you to be prompt"
The judges liked what they saw.
Awards
Best Use of Phrase
Best Sound Design
Best Cinematography
Best Editing
Best Film of Toronto
The members of Creative Meat are not normal humans. They stalk the countrysides at night scouring the land for discarded game boys and ipods.
Now in April Creative Meat is off to Vegas to compete against the other winners from cities all over the globe. Will my addition to blackjack overwhelm me or will I return with golden pants? STAY TUNED.
Film Number 3 - The Ballad of Bobby the Bib
Summer 2007 48hr Film Challenge
We were 10 min late getting this in, so this one didn't qualify. This one is weird, but you can tell everything looks tighter.
Prop: Baby Bib
Central Conflict: Drunk at a funeral
Location: Parking lot.
Character Trait: Mean
Spoken Line: "That's the law"
Time Limit: 6 min
Film Number 4 - Last Round
This is where shit starts getting punch-tacular. We start exploding heads. This placed 3rd in the Spring 2008 24hr film challenge. This is the first time we used the team name "Creative Meat" we decided to stick with it after this.
Prop: Black box, elastic band, paperclip, bobby-pin, green string
Central Conflict: Drunk at a funeral
Genre: Action
Conflict: Divide and conquer
Spoken Line: "corrosive"
Time Limit: 5 min 30 sec
Film Number 5 - Bride to be... Delivered!
Summer 2008 48hr Film Challenge
1st Place baby!
We took the following awards:
Best Picture
Best Director
Best Editing
Best Cinematography
It's about a mail order bride. YEEEEESSSSSSSS! We've got some green screen and other kinds of magic.
Prop: Bingo Dabber
Central Conflict: Left at altar on wedding day.
Location: Bedroom
Character Trait: Ambitious
Spoken Line: "Musical"
Time Limit: 10 min
Film Number 5 - Faceopener: The Bloodening
We didn't place this time, but man we got to use stupid amounts of fake blood and at the end of the day that's really what its all about. Everything looks super tight now.
Genre: Horror
Theme: Suspicious
Prop: Jar of Horror
Line: "Welcome Back"
Time Limit: 5min 30sec
Film Number 6 - Baby Battle: Modern Dad vs. Perfect Mom
This brings us up to speed. At this point the Toronto Film Challenge group has disbanded and a new international group has entered the arena. The 48 Hour Film Project. So this was our film. They pick the genre at random for you...and they gave us. Family Film...oh fuck.
the following;
Genre: Family Film
Character: Stuart / Sabrina Oliver - Architect
Prop: Wrapped Gift
Line: "I expect you to be prompt"
The judges liked what they saw.
Awards
Best Use of Phrase
Best Sound Design
Best Cinematography
Best Editing
Best Film of Toronto
The members of Creative Meat are not normal humans. They stalk the countrysides at night scouring the land for discarded game boys and ipods.
Now in April Creative Meat is off to Vegas to compete against the other winners from cities all over the globe. Will my addition to blackjack overwhelm me or will I return with golden pants? STAY TUNED.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Shameless Self Promotion and practicing embedding sexy things.
Lots of posts today. I'm trying to become familiar with blogger's software. I likes very much so far.
So besides being a cubicle monkey in a vast sea of cubicle farms in my spare time I make short-films in 24 and 48 hour competitions here in Toronto a few times a year. This is more or less a summary of the films I've done. They're all pretty damn silly but I enjoy them.
So as a quick background. These challenges started with an organization called Toronto Film challenge. The idea is to get teams of filmmakers from a variety of background working on a tight deadline to make a film with a predetermined criteria such as; genre, theme, character trait, a prop and a line of spoken dialogue. Since starting these, my team has placed 1st in two of the challenges. Typically I do all the writing and a large portion of the conceptual work. Sometimes I direct, act or record sound. My team members often change, but there is a core group that's always consistent.
Lets have a look!
Film Number 1 - Legends of Music:The Burning Spurs
This is the first film and it's is goddamned silly. Made for the summer 2005 48hour competition.
It followed this criteria;
Prop: Mini umbrella picks
Soundbite: Cuckoo Clock
Location: Train Station
Character Trait: Creative
Colour: Sepia
Time Limit: 12min
We ended up making the top 10. There is huge difference the quality of our films. I'll post the next one and I'll be adding more tomorrow.
Film Number 2 - Subject 11
This is the second film we've done. Still the quality isn't up to our usual par yet. This was the fall 2006 24 hour challenge. Every team did a horror film for this challenge.
It followed this criteria;
Prop: Bottle of TFC poison, rubber gloves.
Theme: Horror
Genre: Any branch of horror (we chose zombie)
Spoken Line: "Legend"
Time Limit: 6 min
We get better as the years progress and coming up in April our winning film will be competing internationally. Anyways I'll be posting more of them you can see for yourself.
HUZZAH!
So besides being a cubicle monkey in a vast sea of cubicle farms in my spare time I make short-films in 24 and 48 hour competitions here in Toronto a few times a year. This is more or less a summary of the films I've done. They're all pretty damn silly but I enjoy them.
So as a quick background. These challenges started with an organization called Toronto Film challenge. The idea is to get teams of filmmakers from a variety of background working on a tight deadline to make a film with a predetermined criteria such as; genre, theme, character trait, a prop and a line of spoken dialogue. Since starting these, my team has placed 1st in two of the challenges. Typically I do all the writing and a large portion of the conceptual work. Sometimes I direct, act or record sound. My team members often change, but there is a core group that's always consistent.
Lets have a look!
Film Number 1 - Legends of Music:The Burning Spurs
This is the first film and it's is goddamned silly. Made for the summer 2005 48hour competition.
It followed this criteria;
Prop: Mini umbrella picks
Soundbite: Cuckoo Clock
Location: Train Station
Character Trait: Creative
Colour: Sepia
Time Limit: 12min
We ended up making the top 10. There is huge difference the quality of our films. I'll post the next one and I'll be adding more tomorrow.
Film Number 2 - Subject 11
This is the second film we've done. Still the quality isn't up to our usual par yet. This was the fall 2006 24 hour challenge. Every team did a horror film for this challenge.
It followed this criteria;
Prop: Bottle of TFC poison, rubber gloves.
Theme: Horror
Genre: Any branch of horror (we chose zombie)
Spoken Line: "Legend"
Time Limit: 6 min
We get better as the years progress and coming up in April our winning film will be competing internationally. Anyways I'll be posting more of them you can see for yourself.
HUZZAH!
I suppose I should make a statement
We'll I've already posted something, but for anyone who stumbles upon this blog here is my disclosure as to the purpose of this blog. To be honest I don't know yet what it will become. For now this is a place where I can write down thoughts and ideas as they come to me.
I'm a big geek for science, news, technology, music and videogames. I also like to write short stories or streams of thought. So wait and see, this will evolve over time and we'll see where it goes.
-Kevin
I'm a big geek for science, news, technology, music and videogames. I also like to write short stories or streams of thought. So wait and see, this will evolve over time and we'll see where it goes.
-Kevin
I can't stop playing Bioshock
The heavy ominous footsteps of the Big Daddy haunt my dreams as I desire to possess the genetic gold of their wards. I've been in this aquatic mausoleum for days and everyday I feel I'm drawing closer to close freedom or closer to madness. Three days since the plane went down, three days since I've elected to begin the shedding of my humanity for the thrill of the splice. Give me a few more days here and I'm sure even God would bow down to me. What good was my body before? It was weak, fleshy and vulnerable. Now I command electricity and set any foe ablaze with the snap of my finger.
Just give me a few more days; I just need some more Adam. You will see what I can become, whether you choose to join me or fear me, I have not yet made up my mind.
Just give me a few more days; I just need some more Adam. You will see what I can become, whether you choose to join me or fear me, I have not yet made up my mind.
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